Think Of Me
by VivyPotter
Summary: Sirius was dead. And then she found a letter, "Dearest Bri..." Sirus Black/OC/Regulus Black, Character Death, oneshot


**Disclaimer: I do not Harry Potter, and all rights go to JK!**

* * *

Sirius was dead.

I wandered into the hallway, the world passing in a haze. Walburga screamed at me yet again, although even _her_ screeching seemed quieter. Maybe she did have a shrivelled heart hidden deep within her hollow chest. Siri had laughed at the irony when we'd gotten married: one of his mother's much-hated 'mudbloods', named Lady Black.

I'd laughed too.

I miss laughing.

I walked slowly up the stairs, my fingers trailing lightly along the railing. The house was just as depressing as ever, the curtains hanging in just the right way to cast threatening shadow on the wall. The atmosphere in that house could turn even the yellow curtains black. I let out a harsh 'ha!' at the memory of Sirius charming all of the curtains to sing whenever you walked past them.

That had been when we'd first moved in. A few months later, there hadn't been much to laugh about.

I make my way towards the room me and Sirius shared. I was just going to lie down for a bit, I felt so tired…

The door on my left creaked open.

I paused, and turned my head slowly. It had only opened a smidge, and I assumed the wind from a cracked open window had nudged it…

But it had always been locked.

It was Regulus' room. Reg was a subject that myself and Siri had always avoided. It wasn't that we were _unwilling_ to discuss it; we just had a mutual agreement that the topic of Regulus Black was one best left untouched. And so was his room.

Filled with a curiosity (and it was like a candle in the dark, so sudden and so ferocious), I pushed open the door. I flinched, half-expected Regulus' ghost to rise from the grave and attack me or something. It was silly, I know, but if your leave something alone for long enough it becomes taboo.

It was dusty inside the room. Somehow, I hadn't expected it. I'd imagined a perfectly preserved scene, frozen in time. I could barely see anything for all the dirt, but I made my way through the bedroom, ducking out of the way of spider's webs and moth-bitten drapes. A trunk wedged under the bed caught my attention, and I pulled it out with some effort. I blew across the top, revealing the ancestral coat of arms of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black. I threw the lid of the trunk, letting it slam onto the floor with a deafening _thunk!_ I reached inside and found only a letter, folding up neatly and done on a heavy parchment. It was sealed, and I was shocked to discover it was address to Ms Briar Evergreen. It all felt so surreal, like a dream.

I broke the wax and smoothed out the paper, taking in the swirly handwriting with trepidation.

_Dearest Bri,_

_I'm so sorry. I never said that, did I? But I am. So, so sorry for what I put you through. And now I'll explain why, though I wish I didn't have to. But I do, because you deserve that much._

_When I first met you, I was using you. I'll admit it. I'd asked a Hufflepuff where I could find my brother and she said, 'Ask Briar Evergreen, she's his official stalker.'_

_And then I met you, and you were ideal. You knew everything about Sirius, where he was, who he was with, why he was there. All his little secrets. And the sad thing was; you were so happy to have _one_ of the Black brothers talking to you, that I only had to ask and you would tell. It was kind of pathetic, to be honest._

_After six months, I had all the blackmail material I needed. I could have made my precious 'golden brother' run away and never come back. I had everything I had ever wanted, and now you were useless, just another tool to be discarded. But then I went and fell in love with you. It'd been gradual, just noticing all the little things about you, like the way that you click your fingers when you're frustrated, or the tune you whistle when your happy, or your strange coughing laugh. And one day, I realised that you were the closest thing to perfection on this earth. _

_I didn't even care that you were a mudblood._

_So I romanced you, and kissed you, and ignored it when you got lost in the moment and whispered 'Sirius'. I didn't care, I was just so _happy_. _

_And then I heard the rumour that my brother was in love with you. _

_I'm honestly surprised you never heard, after all, you were the resident 'Sirius Black expert'. Maybe people went out of their way to hide it from you. I don't know._

_But suddenly, I had a threat. I began following you, distracting you when he tried to get your attention. I was obsessive, possessive. _

_And then you broke up with me. And suddenly, you were dating Sirius Black._

_I'll admit it; I was in a dark place. I joined the Death Eaters, tortured, killed… I was only 16, Bri._

_But then I went too far. You never found out who killed Jarod, did you, Bri? You were a wreck for months, walked around in a daze. _

_I did it, Bri. I pushed your little brother down the stairs, watched his small form tumble down every step…_

_… crack crack crack crack…_

_I was just so _angry_. Please, please forgive me. I regret it, I swear. He just looked so much like you from a distance. He had almost the same haircut, the same shade of hair, the same house… _

_And so I pushed him._

_And he died._

_I swear to Merlin, I'm sorry._

_I panicked. I had joined the Death Eaters, I was in too deep. _

_We got out of Hogwarts, and you were going to marry Sirius, and I was going to die under the cold hand of Lord Voldemort, I knew it._

_And then there was an opportunity. _

_The Dark Lord has Horcruxes, Bri. I don't how many, but he used Kreacher to hide one of them. I'm going back tonight, to try and steal one. I don't know if I'll survive – Merlin, I'm going to die, I just know it._

_I love you, Bri. More than anything, I love you. And I know you and Sirius have your happy ever after, but dream of me sometimes, please. When you're lying next to _him_, or watching your child, think of me._

_I hope your child has your eyes. They're the most beautiful eyes, Bri._

_I don't mind if you have your happy ever after, even though I'd rather it was with me (I'm selfish like that), but I'd like it if you'd keep me in your memory. _

_Because I'm going to die tonight, Bri. And, Merlin, I'm scared. I don't want to die, I want to _live_. But I'll make this sacrifice. Because I love you Bri. If nothing else, be sure of that: I love you._

_With all my heart (even if you don't want it), _

_Your Reg_


End file.
